That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize