whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
