I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You can't special order awesome
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
