Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
