Having a random hookup so left but love u
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Randomize
