Need sex. Gaining weight.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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