I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
