i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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