I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
