She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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