I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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