she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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