I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
