I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
