He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
