Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
