I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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