ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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