Pappa wants mamma naked
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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