I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
