speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
