if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
