When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
