I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
