Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize