All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
