I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize