so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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