called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
