Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We have so much sex to catch up on
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
