is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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