Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
