Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My liver is preforming stress tests.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
