C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
