My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
