Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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