dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
