We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
the liver wants what the liver wants
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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