I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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