as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
