just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We have started to decorate penises.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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