Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
