Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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