Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
