Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
