i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
