thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
