I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
