Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
