I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
