What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
