what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
