ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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