I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
