i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
This is the high leading the old right now
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
