How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
