I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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